Episode 64 - Let's Start 2023 with a JUICY STORY!

Let's Start 2023 with a JUICY STORY!

Hello beautiful people and welcome to Real Estate and the adventures of parenthood. Today we are going to talk about Dating!  So, I finally got myself out of dating apps, I am done with dating apps, and I am going to focus on myself in 2023!

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Transcript

Cindy: 0:00

Hello beautiful people and welcome to Real Estate indie adventures up parenthood. Okay, I know I haven't posted that much. I know there's so much to say and so much to tell. But what's really going on is that he's like, Okay, I got to tell you guys. I finally got myself out of dating apps, I am done with dating apps, I am going to focus myself for 2023, you're going to be fine. You're going to focus yourself on yourself more. Yes, I am. Just because I feel like dating apps is not working for me. And I keep on doing the same thing over and over again. Okay, so let me give you guys an update of the last guy that I dated. I met him on hinge. And I felt like there was like a lot of red flags. He's, he was nine years younger than I was. And we dated for around four to five weeks. And it was like, it was a little bit crazy. Because the first day that he met me, he wanted to move into my and we wanted to move in, he wanted to get married and and like me, my kids, and I'm like, but this is like total red flags. And I kept on like, you know what, this might just be something good. I mean, I was just giving them the benefit of the doubt. And so he on the second week, he told me that he was getting deployed. And um, it didn't make any sense to me at all. I'm like, but he's getting deployed, but it's going to be in 30 days. Hmm. Usually the military will give you more time with any of that situation. Correct. And I've been down this road before. I mean, I've been millet married to military. I've dated military. I know how the protocol works. And they will law. I mean, it all depends on the situation. So things were not adding up. And he was telling me that he was spending a lot of time with his mom that his mom wanted to do a lot of things. And I'm like, Okay, sweet guy. You know, I mean, he has to have I mean, he might, he might be a mama's boy. And, you know, his mom was like, 20 minutes from me. And anyways, like things didn't add up. He's like, we're exclusive. We're not dating any other people. It's your knee. So all of a sudden, I mean, I told him, Well, you know what, I'll delete the app. And he deleted the app, too. But I did delete the app, because he hadn't deleted his profile. So that was kind of like a red flag for me. Because I'm like, Well, if you're into me, and you just want to date me, why are you not deleting your profile? So anyways, I hadn't downloaded the app. And a few days, this is like, going after Christmas. He's like, hey, you know what? Yeah. So yeah, he's he'll delete his dating profile and all that. I'm like, okay, cool. But then I told him, so I thought you were not active on the app. And he's like, Oh, you have trust issues? And because his location change. So Bumble, okay, so all the dating apps has a have a location, so you have that location on, it's gonna follow you. So for me, it didn't make any sense. Because if you have that location, and you have a dating profile is going to follow he's going to tell you where you're at. Bumble is really good hands is really good. If you turn on the location services. I don't use Tinder, I haven't been in Tinder and over probably three, four years. And that was actually to catch my ex husband. But anyways, that's a different story. Um, so yeah, I mean, things didn't make any sense, yet added other three or four girls. And he was continuously adding people to his Facebook and Instagram, following them. So if you guys want to know a tip, if you add people in, they're not like, private to you, then you can actually see who you who people add. And you can actually go on the recently Add tab. So I had been keeping track on that for a few weeks. And but things didn't make any sense. Things didn't make any sense. So the first day of the year, January 1, I started looking at different growth stories on his Instagram. I mean, even though we had ended it, things didn't add up. And when things don't add up, I started digging information. I've been many of you do the same thing too and all so I started digging more in tune into it. Then one of the girls her her story, were private were public. So I clicked on it and I looked at her stories it was puppies and all that because he had like, like you could actually tell when you actually like, if you go to follows followers and who they follow you can if they're public, you can actually Tell if they like their pictures or not. And I was a little bit nosy. Let's say I was doing research on this. So doing research on my whole search. She requested me I'm like, Okay, I know where this is going. This means that the cat is going to be out of the bag. Okay, so we started messaging like, hey, you know, I love your puppies and all that. And she's like, Hey, we have this person in common. I'm like, yeah, no. Do you play softball? Like, no, she's like, once you mentioned the person name, like, here's my number coming. Once I actually went ahead and told her call me, I told her look, there's this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, what's going on? She's like, I dated him until December 8. What? That's when I actually went out with him. Well, I think what that was taught me remember, when I went out with him a thing was like, the first weekend of December. So I decided to add all of these girls into a group chat, meaning a group chat. And they send me all the pictures and all that. But first of all, they're like, what's going on? Who are you I'm like, it's really important, call me is in regards to this person. All right. I know, this is the end of him. So we all got into a group chat. And then I told them call me. So they all call me. We were five people in total, discussing about this whole thing. So this guy was playing us. A girl for one year and a half, then another girl for eight months, then another girl for since October or something. And he went to a wedding with her in California. Then another girl that he had met at same time as I was around a month. And yeah, I mean, he was telling them the same story completely to all of us. And unfortunately, it's just like, What in the world is going on? So yeah, I mean, that has been a little bit of my daily story so far has been so interesting. But I was listening to Miley Cyrus today. And it was like, You know what, um, we might be able to do more like. So with this whole situation, more women are coming. And talking about how men are being devious. And not only that, but they're not being transparent. And this is what we're dealing on dealing with nowadays, is people are not being transparent. People are not being upfront, and why are they being afraid of saying, Hey, I'm dating other people, you're not the only one I'm dating right now. But when you're talking and telling everybody that you're exclusive. Um, that's a whole different story there. Because I mean, we can talk about a lot of things involved, including STDs, people, I mean, are you using protection? When was the last time and all this? Why are you lying about stuff like that? And it's just like, so if you are not being transparent in front and blunt, what's the, what's the whole purpose of this? And I'm not saying hey, you have to tell me what everybody you sleep with? No, no, no, you got to tell me if you're being exclusive or not. Because if you're being exclusive is a totally different situation. But then when you're lying, and you're telling the same story to all these other women, what's going on here? So I did post it on tick tock. There might be another story on this. But it's more of why are people doing this? Why are people be having, like I understand the whole thing of, okay, there's more options. We're not being selective? What is really going on here? But are we moving too fast? Or are we seeing the red flags that are there completely. So that was my whole situation with this. He's finally getting deployed. After this is released, he's actually going to be somewhere far, far, far, far away. And I don't think I'll ever hear from him again. So it was an interesting thing of me. You know what, I'm not getting back on dating apps. I was there for a little bit. And you know, what, I think my personal experience is just to meet people organically, like going networking. You know, airports, talking to people randomly, let's say for instance, earlier, I was I was at brunch with my kids, and I was like, You know what, I was talking to this guy, and he's like, hey, you know what, I have two kids. He's three and five. And he has a nine year old and I'm like, Oh, nice, but we didn't exchange information, because I was more focused on eating and you know, I'm getting on in line and all that. And he was with his two little kids. But I think if people started conversations like this would be better just because it's most likely that we would be able to meet the person and meet the person in person. But same time, it's just like we're so focused on. Okay, if I meet this person, organically and in person, what is he thinking? What is his likes? What is his profile like? And we can do a little bit of research. But also, every time that you look on when you're in dating apps, or somebody searches, like says, hey, you know what, I have this, this name, this information and all that, then always Google their phone number, because their phone number is going to tell you a lot. And you'd be like, well, yes, it will. So there is this website called fast people search.com. And you can actually pull all their information, which is pretty awesome. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it pulls out the information. And then it can bring out the the social medias too, and been verified as a good one. So try to find out if this person has any type of criminal background and so forth before dating them, you never know what type of situation you're getting yourself into. And safety is always important. Especially, you know, you can't make do a background check. A background check is not going to tell you if he's a narcissist, and so forth. But you can see what are they you know, at least if they're, they're a criminal or not, that is in the system. Because keep in mind, sometimes there's criminals that are not even in the system. So you also have to think about your safety. And I know I'm like way what, what's going on here? So yeah, I mean, and just make sure that whenever you go on a date, tell people about it, you know, give them their information, their name, their first name, and last name, and so forth, and moving forward, and also make sure that they have a LinkedIn profile that you can actually go back to. But yeah, I mean, that has been my last few weeks on dating. Yeah, so when we're talking about because I've even considered about going doing matchmaking and I'm like, Hmm, let me see should I should I at this point, I don't know what I'm gonna do. But you know what, I'm not desperate I'm not you know, it's just focusing on yourself. So Miley Cyrus came up with a song flowers that if you guys haven't heard of that, it's just like wow, you know, this is basically it says a lot because I'm going to play it and you guys are going to like it you guys are gonna like it because I said so. Alright, so this is the this year I'm sorry. Alright, so this is a song of Miley Cyrus where we are goal kind of dream can be so we will tell you a home in Washington I come by myself read my name and say things you don't understand all right. So here my youth I was the saying hey, you know what, I can buy myself flowers, I can love me better than you can I can write my my name in the sand, talk to myself for hours. And now I'm going to bring this up. When you're, you're going through a breakup, you're going through divorce, you're going through, you know separation and you're like but I want to be with this person. But then you realize because it does take time that you are that you can actually do all these things by yourself and you need to know your self worth. But it does take time it does take healing. So you know, and this brings me when I basically like I always wanted someone to send me flowers. I always want it to someone buy me flowers and take me dancing or dance with me. You know that's like some like one of my my things is having someone that will dance with me. And meaning in a romantic way not in a dance floor or anything just in a romantic way him and I and all that but it's just like you as a person can buy yourself flowers. You can write your own name in the sand you You know, you can talk to yourself for hours, you know, say things that you don't, that they don't understand, you know, you can take yourself dancing, you can hold your hand, you know, and you know what you can love yourself better, better than anyone can. Because once you love yourself, I mean, that person is going to come in, and it's going to fall into place. And that's the thing, sometimes we are so focused on that person. And it's just like, oh, my gosh, you know, what do I really want to be with this person? This person is gonna be senior? Oh, my gosh, you know, and that's the thing. And it's just like I was listening to, to this also by Matt, Matthew Hathaway. So always, that person is always going to choose you and listen to your wife, or their person that still walks the earth has decided not to be with you. And if that's the case, how can they possibly be the love of your life, we can't live with the fantasy, that someone who's still here is the person that we're supposed to be with, when they are not in agreement with that, that's how we get over them. Because we recognize that no one who could be the love of my life would not be choosing me. So that's the thing. It's just like, so minus ours talks about this, don't even get me into Shakira, but Miley Cyrus talks about, you can do all these things for yourself, you don't have to wait for someone else to do it. And the person that is going to choose you is going to always choose you regardless, you're not going to have to beg, you're not going to have to be like let's make this work, please make this work, please make this work. Because it makes me think about this, whenever I went through my divorce with my ex husband, the kids dad, I wanted to do anything and everything to save that marriage. But in the end, I was not his person, because he didn't choose me. I was choosing him, but he didn't want me. And and this is why I am talking about this. Because yes, you know, when someone really wants to be with you, they're not going to let you go, you are gold to them, You are their person, you are everything to them. And they're going to, they're going to prove it to you in actions, not in words, because actions speak louder than words completely. And this is what you actually have to take that into consideration is, is this person showing me all of these things that they they're saying that they want to be with me that they want more to do things in life with me? Or are they just want to spend their time or they're just looking for a different option. So you once you know your self worth not? Once you focus on yourself, mind, body, spiritually, everything falls into place, and you'd be like, but I don't want to do that I want someone now. And okay, there is this podcast that you guys have to listen to. It's called a beautiful story. And it is one of the most beautiful stories that I have heard, and you guys have to listen to it. I recommend that totally. So it is about like patients like this girl, she was waiting for the one you know, and, you know, she she wanted she's a clarity like, Hey, I'm gonna get married, I'm gonna find my husband, my husband is gonna be a fox, and all of these things. And when she least expected, he was in the mill, meaning that he sent her an email when she left at least expected. But this was he saw her two years ago. And everything fell into place when she least expected now they're actually having a baby, which is amazing. But you got to be patient, you got to work on yourself, and let things fall in place. And sometimes we do get a little bit desperate. Sometimes we're like, where is my person, I want that person. I want to be with that person, but that person doesn't want to be with me. And that person just has other options. Keep in mind, once you know your self worth, you're going to find out that everything will fall into place. Guys, I know this is 2023 It's starting amazing is starting awesome. And I know I started you guys with a little bit of drama, not what expecting not drama. It's just information. Okay, let's put it that way. It's research. We are calling at research people research. But I'm glad that I'm able to help other women and other men too, because it's not easy. I mean, finding out that the person that you're starting to date or the certain person that you're exclusive, there's many things to start to look at as red flags and what are those red flags? They're working late. They're busy. And I really don't like that word busy b u s why? Just because oh I was just like, you're full of that person. I mean, sometimes I am pretty busy, believe me, but I do make time for the things that I really want and that they're important to me. But if you look at and they tell you that they're spending a lot of time with their mom, that they're working, that they're sleeping, and I'd work red flag. I mean, yeah, I mean that they have training during the weekend. That is not training. I mean, believe me, there's ways to find things and it's just like in follow your gut all the time. Follow your gut and intuition. That's all I can tell you when something doesn't smell right. And it stinks. It's because there's something else in there. And you can do a little bit more digging and see what happens. But guys, let me know if you guys have any questions. Let me know you guys. Feel free to comment, share, subscribe, and follow for more. This is Cindy presgraves and I hope you guys have a wonderful 2023 And I will be posting more just let me know what you guys want to hear more about. Alright. Have a beautiful day people